Archive | January, 2013

Your Logic is Flawed

21 Jan

The Mayor never ceases to amaze me with his logic.

When we first got the Mayor, we dutifully bought him a crate and proceeded to try and make him like it. I’d leave him a cozy bed inside of his kennel and by the time I got home, he’d have chewed it to bits. Okay, maybe I’ll leave him a rawhide? No, never touched. Eventually we came to an agreement, he’d get in the cage on one condition, a kong filled to the top with peanut butter. Heck, if you got out the jar, he’d high tail it to the inside of the crate (this made me feel particularly bad if I was just getting peanut butter out on the weekend and poof, he’s in his crate).

Plagued with guilt over leaving him in a crate all day, I convinced Eric that Tex was ready to be free of his crate during the day. He said okay, if we installed a baby gate that would keep him in one large room of the house, he could get behind this idea.

Later that day, Tex had chewed entirely through this gorgeous, expensive (re: ugly, free) green chair.

Two catahoulas

I dutifully re-stuffed it, patched the holes with duct tape and put an even more beautiful faux-denim (that’s right) ill-fitting slip cover over it. THIS CHAIR MUST NOT BE CONSIDERED A LOSS.

We went back to crate training for a month or more.

Ready again to be released, we let the beast out again in his baby gated room, filled with windows, toys and his trusty peanut butter kong. This will do it, I remember thinking to myself, he’s totally learned his lesson.

Precious ripped through the chair cover and into his previously fixed holes and for good measure, whittled a wooden bar stool leg down for us.

Back to the crate and back to UglySlipCovers.com for another slipcover. I wish I was kidding.

In the meantime, I hired some dog sitters, who came to get Tex twice a week for outings. Over the next few months I decided that just in the two hours between my leaving for work and the dog sitters arriving, I would leave the big guy out of his crate and NOT behind that nasty baby gate. Many other trials took place in that period, until one day, upon informing the dog sitters that Tex did not need to go back in his crate when they dropped him off they replied that they had never come to get him.

[Insert heart attack at work]

I sped home at high speed (as if this would prevent the damage from being minimized), the Mayor had been loose in the house ALL DAY. What might he have done? I couldn’t even begin to wrap my head around what I might see.

I got home and there the Mayor was, happy as a clam, not having touched or chewed a single piece of furniture. That’s when we should have figured out that gates=problems. Obviously.

In the last three years, while Martini and the Mayor have been working out their differences, we’ve kept them segregated with a baby gate that separates the top floor of our house from the basement, giving Martini her space and the Mayor, well, anxiety. Every time we would go downstairs, the Mayor would have to come. Back turned, he would wolf down the cat food before you could blink. Flash forward to present day. During an entryway, stair renovation project this past month, we removed the baby gate and re-did the doorway that the gate was installed into. We thought we’d probably lose a lot more cat food then we ever did before and that the Mayor would be down in the basement every second of every day.

The Mayor of Crazytown

Have we learned nothing? Are we really this dense?

Of course the Mayor doesn’t care about consuming the cat food now, in fact, what cat food? I don’t even know what you’re talking about. Oh you’re going downstairs? I think I’ll just stay up here and look out the window.

—-

For those of you interested in the before and after, I thought I’d include the photos of our entryway/stair renovation project.

redoing entryway stairs

entryway stair renovation

stair renovation project

shelf

Did you notice that sweet new coat rack? I brought home a Pinterest photo of a coat rack I wanted AND the materials from Home Depot (I thought it might make for a more convincing argument, “Well I mean, we already have everything we need to build it”) and Eric built this amazing shelf/rack.

TXstairs

Say, I think he likes it.

Advertisements